Fear of failure is the number one fear people report to counselors and doctors. Why? People naturally do not like rejection and criticism. For people that have a debilitating fear of failure the fear of rejection, criticism, and not pleasing people can lead to a fear of even trying. Why try when you will just fail?
Successful people and people who fear failure look at events and themselves in different ways. Successful people see their mistakes as an outcome not a failure. They use mistakes to learn and avoid making them the next time.
People who fear failure see failure not as a mistake but as a permanent and personal state. They do not learn from their mistakes because they believe that they failed and cannot change. Instead of learning, this person just stops doing. And that is the worst thing that can happen. By stopping doing things you miss the chance to grow and learn.
If you find that your fear of failure is self-limiting and you are missing out on many life opportunities the following suggestions may help.
· Do something. Fear immobilizes you. Act! When you act you can change outcomes. You are the one in charge. You are the only one who can change the outcomes of your actions but in order to do so you must overcome your fear to fail.
· Be persistent. Don’t give up after one try. Successful people try many options before finding one that works. Look at the problem in a different way and come up unique solutions.
· Don’t take it personally. YOU did not fail. What you were doing failed. This is a hard one. It is not easy to assign blame elsewhere when you fail. A bad grade does not mean you are a failure- it means you failed to study. But you have to learn from that and do it better next time.
· Let up and learn. Don’t get down on yourself. You can talk yourself to success. You can also see failures as learning experiences. How many wonderful medical breakthroughs came from lab mistakes? Plenty!
Make a commitment to overcome your fear. Step outside your comfort zone and realize that you will fail at times. But without failure there is no chance for success. And failure gives you the chance to learn from your mistakes. That is the positive aspect of failing at something. It is an opportunity to improve and learn not to do the same mistakes again.
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